The Results of Having PMS on Valentine's Day
by Sadie Lovegood
Summary: For the Reviews Lounge's 'Box of Chocolates' Challenge. Featured pairing is Scorpius/Rosie. It's three days to Valentine's Day, and heartbreak isn't the only thing that's visiting Rose Weasley!


**"****The Rather Unfortunate Results of Having PMS on Valentine's Day****"**

**A Scorpius/Rosie Story**

_**A/N: **__Let it be known to all that I, Sadie, took up the RL Valentine's day 'box of chocolates' challenge, and took a pairing that was __**NOT**__ Remus/Tonks because that evil she-devil __TheOriginalHufflepuff (h__eh__, just kidding with you, Huffs) stole it before me. So, here's my backup pairing: Scorpius/Rose, and I damn well better get an Academy Award of __Fanfiction__ for this….__because seeing as all my backup ships were taken, this was a bastard to write!_

* * *

**3:27 PM, ****February 12: Mood Swings**

"Excuse me….WHAT?"

Rose Weasley crossed her hands in an attempt to hide the terribly painful pounding in her chest that she knew was conspicuous beneath her grey Hogwarts sweater. She stood face to face with Duncan Finnegan, the handsome (yet simple) young Hufflepuff who she had the pleasure to call her boyfriend for the past eight months, two weeks, four days, twenty-two hours, sixteen minutes, and fifty-one seconds. Duncan shuffled his feet back and forth.

"I'm kinda in love with someone else," Duncan muttered.

Rose shook her head. "And you're telling me this now? Why? Why….wait…WHO?" Rose suddenly asked. She began pacing the floor in front of Duncan (which she always did when she wanted to think herself to death…it was a gene from her mother).

"Um," Duncan said. "I don't mean to hurt you."

"Well, Duncan, stop talking there and just forget about this…other woman!" Rose said, suddenly going from sad to downright pissed off. She was SOO not supposed to have this conversation! Not two days before the Valentine's Day ball! Not to mention, her monthly visitor was about to stop on by for the week, so it came at just peachy timing as well.

"That's just it," Duncan said. "She's not the other woman anymore…you are."

Rose looked like a deer in the headlights of the Hogwarts express. Duncan gulped.

"Well…we…I didn't have the guts to tell you…"

Rose didn't like where this was going. She bit her bottom lip. The rage was melting back into ultimate sadness. Tears welled up in her eyes.

Duncan continued without noticing Rose's extreme distress. That was the thing about Duncan, as handsome and sweet as he was, he wasn't the sharpest claw on the hippogriff.

"Molly and I have been going out for about a month already. She's just so…so beautiful," Duncan mooned. Rose stopped pacing, the anger coming back.

"Wait…who?" she asked with her squeaky watch-out-before-I-explode-all-over-you voice.

"Your cousin, Molly Weasley."

Rose thought she was going to puke all over Duncan (and the lad would've well deserved it too). "Molly?!" she shrieked. Then she asked the burning question: "What does Molly have that I don't?!"

Duncan sighed. "I didn't mean to hurt you," he said again, stupidly.

"ANSWER ME!" Rose yelled. A few of the students wandering the hallways stopped curiously to have a look at the scene.

"Well, you're so smart, and you've got a great personality, but—"

"—BUT?!" Rose asked through gritted teeth.

"But Molly's so hot."

Worst. Answer. Possible.

Rose could feel the hormones scalding the insides of the arteries in her face, particularly around both the eyes and the forehead. She knew she was about to show the world the reason why her parents named her 'Rose'…she had been born so red one would've thought she was half-tomato.

But, rather than show her complete and utter heartbreak to the world, Rose grinned evilly and pulled out her wand, pointing it at Duncan's chest.

_"Impedimenta!"_

Duncan suddenly was hoisted into the air by his ankles. The spectator students rooted and cheered as she tortured him this way. As much as Duncan squirmed and begged for mercy, Rose wouldn't back down. She really needed to remember to send Teddy Lupin an owl to thank him for teaching her this little hex…

As the students cheered her on, Rose repeatedly yelled at him.

"She's hotter than me! Well, if you like it hot, then you two can just go BURN in HELL together, you smelly git!"

"Rose Nymphadora Weasley!" yelled a new voice to the scene. Rose winced and turned her head. Having broken concentration, Duncan fell to the floor head first.

Professor Neville Longbottom came upon the scene, looking sternly at Rose. "I would expect this from a first-year, but not from a N.E.W.T. student like yourself!"

"Professor—" Rose tried to explain.

"Detention. See me after supper," Professor Longbottom said strictly. Rose growled under her breath. Men…no matter how old they were, they were all the same!

"Yes sir," Rose said, nodding her head and turning to head back to her dormitory.

* * *

**9:42 PM February 12: Fatigue**

Professor Longbottom quickly put her to work in the greenhouse watering every last plant in all six greenhouses. Professor Longbottom had said that another student would be joining her shortly, but he failed to say who. For now, Rose was on her own.

That good for nothing loser, dumping her for her cousin, no less! Rose moaned to herself. She was sick and tired of all this drama! She was sixteen! What kind of sixteen year old witch had the curse of having to endure all this drama in school? Rose considered herself the most unlucky witch in England.

"Grab a watering can," Rose could hear Professor Longbottom instructing the other student who'd just arrived for detention. Rose didn't bother turning around. Her head could barely stay on her shoulders. She was so popped out, pretty soon she'd be watering herself to stay awake long enough to finish the detention.

Rose could hear two soft footsteps coming up behind her.

"Rose! Fancy seeing you here," said a medium-ranged, polite voice. Rose turned around to look Scorpius Malfoy in the face.

"What are you here for?" she asked as Scorpius took up his task beside her. "I thought you were the goody-goody boy everyone here loves so much?"

Scorpius turned red and shrugged. It was true. For a Slytherin, Scorpius sure had a sterling reputation. Though he had a tendency to be hot-headed, she definitely wasn't his father's son in all aspects.

"I set off a Dung near Longbottom's office this morning," he said bashfully. Rose nearly dropped her watering can.

"That was you?!"

"It's been me before, too, I just…well…let's just say the Sorting Hat didn't put me in Slytherin for nothing!" Scorpius said, going to water a mandrake that was writhing in the pot. Rose nodded wearily. "You okay?" asked Scorpius.

"Tired," Rose said. Scorpius nodded.

"I can see, the bags under your eyes look like they could be carrying hippogriff feed! What happened?"

"My boyfriend broke up with me for my cousin," Rose mumbled. "Laugh at me and you'll be eating your porridge through a pump in your stomach!"

"Am I laughing?" asked Scorpius, looking deep into Rose's eyes. She had pretty blue eyes, even if the bags underneath them were big enough to hold a Cornish pixie in each. Rose bit her lip and got back to work. "Must be pretty hard on you," Scorpius said sympathetically.

"Yeah, whatever," Rose muttered to herself.

"Am I to assume you're not going to the Valentine's Day Ball because of this?" Scorpius got up the nerve to ask a few seconds later.

"No."

"Have any plans at all?" asked Scorpius.

"No."

"You just going to go to bed early?" asked Scorpius.

"No! No! NO! You know what?" Rose said, suddenly slamming her watering can to the ground. "I'm tired of this! I'm skipping the rest of detention and going to bed, because I'm just too tired!"

Scorpius almost laughed at Rose's hissy-fit. "Tired of what?"

"Tired, tired, TIRED!!! I'm just TIRED!!!!" Rose insisted, storming out of the greenhouse like a four-year old after not getting her way.

Scorpius smiled amusedly to himself and silently got back to work without pursuing her.

* * *

**10:17AM, February 13: Cramps**

Rose turned over in bed and moaned loudly and melodramatically. Lily, sitting on the edge of the bed, rolled her eyes.

"Drama witch," she muttered.

"My OOOOOOVARIES!" Rose groaned, tears leaking from the corner of her eyes. Lily crossed her arms.

"You're just faking the agonizing cramps because Duncan dumped the daylights out of you yesterday, and you'll be the only upperclasswitch without a date tomorrow," Lily accused. Rose shot up in bed, her pain miraculously gone.

"I won't be the ONLY one!" Rose huffed quickly.

Lily shrugged. "You're right. Enid Hellman from Ravenclaw's not going either—"

"—the fifth year with the huge mole on her lip the size of a quarter?? The mole with HAIRS?? The mole that Professor Flitwick made _SPEAK_ that one time?!" Rose asked. Lily nodded. Rose collapsed on the bed.

"Ugh….someone give me something deep-fried and smothered in chocolate," Rose moaned. Lily had to swallow back a laugh.

"Sure, and I'll give you a heart attack and a side of stroke to go with it," Lily said. "Why don't you go with Dean Thomas Jr and I? Dean's a cool bloke."

"Because Duncan will be there with our EX-cousin, whore," Rose moaned. Lily rolled her eyes.

"I'll tell Uncle Percy you called his precious daughter a whore!" Lily threatened.

Rose sat up again and stared down her younger cousin, her lower teeth bared like a tiger ready to pounce. "Lily Luna Potter, I'm twenty-four hours away from my monthly subscription to Woman's Hell arriving. I could take Voldemort if your dad hadn't wasted him years ago."

Lily sighed. "Point taken."

"So it'll be me and an extra-credit Charms essay tomorrow night. "

"You'll still be getting Valentines from Al and me," Lily promised. "You won't go without, at least not totally without."

"Thanks," Rose said, sulking back onto the bed. "My two cousins are giving me those lovely cardboard Valentines one buys in a corner grocer's! The ones with cartoon characters that fold up with little stickers and say 'Be My Valentine' in the theme of whatever cartoon character was on the card! I hate my life."

"Hey, be fair! It's the thought that counts!" Lily groaned. She got to her feet. "Well, don't let me ruin your cramp-session."

"Piss off," Rose moaned, turning away from Lily as she went to go back to her room and tear up the Happy Hippogriff cardboard Valentine she wrote out for Rose that said "**Hope your Valentine's Day is high-flying fun!**"

* * *

**9:14PM, February 14: Cravings**

_The __Patronus__ Charm, in __it's__ full-bodied form, takes the shape of an animal the closely resembles the caster's personality. I have only b__een able to cast a sad attempt at__ a full-bodied __Patronus__, so the only thing I can describe it as…it something with more than four legs and a big nose. _

Rose slammed her quill into the inkwell, frustrated, and thought long and hard about what to say next. She was asked to write an exhausting two-scroll essay on her own personal Patronus Charm, the memories she used to cast it, and what animal her Patronus takes for N.E.W.T. Charms. So far she had two sentences.

_I thought maybe it was a squid or octopus, but they don't have noses, so it can't be either of those._

Three sentences.

"Mmm…"Rose muttered to herself. "I wonder if I can see if Lily keeps a cooler in her room?" Rose wanted nothing more than a huge salty…something. Sweet AND salty. Maybe a pickle dipped in chocolate. Or a peanut butter pretzel. Food was the only thing on her mind at the moment.

Rose got up and decided to take a little trip down to the common room. Maybe there was some food down there someone left behind.

Casually, she strode down the stairs that led to the common room.

"Hello Rose," said a familiar voice. Rose was surprised to see Scorpius Malfoy standing in the Gryffindor common room, holding a box of chocolates under his arm, dressed decently.

"Scorpius? How did you get in here?" Rose asked. "You're a Slytherin!"

Scorpius shrugged. "Lily left the Fat Lady painting open for me. I was coming in as she was coming out to go to the ball. I was wondering if maybe you'd like to come with me…but I see you're not dressed for the occasion."

Rose looked down and realized, with embarrassment, that she was in her bright purple bath robe. Blushing, Rose turned quickly to go back upstairs, mumbling something about being sorry that she was in too much of a mood.

"We can just stay in here. I had the feeling you'd want these," Scorpius said, holding out the box of chocolate. Rose turned around.

"Why would you think that?"

Scorpius smiled. "Because you're single, and its Valentine's Day."

Rose gave Scorpius an odd and somewhat confused look. "How do you figure that?' she asked, a smile beginning to curl on the very edge of her lips.

"Because I'm single, and it's Valentine's Day," Scorpius answered. Rose's small, indifferent smile grew wider.

"So you decided to sneak into Gryffindor Tower and pity yourself over chocolate?" Rose asked, coming back down the stairs.

"Well, I was kind of HOPING you could….pity yourself with me and maybe eat the coconut ones? I hate those," Scorpius asked tentatively.

"I love the coconut ones!" Rose said. "Oh, and I get the cherry cream too!" She said, her mod suddenly changing, she scampered over to the sofa near the dark window. Scorpius joined her and unwrapped the chocolate box.

"Can't help you there," Scorpius said. "I get the cherry cream!" Rose pouted playfully and plucked a coconut truffle from the box Scorpius held out, and Scorpius took out the cherry cream. Scorpius then put the box aside and lifted his chocolate in the air. Rose looked confused.

"A toast!" Scorpius proposed. Rose rolled her eyes and raised her chocolate to meet his. "To chocolate!"

Rose giggled. "To being dumped!"

Scorpius sighed. "To the worst-turned-best Valentine's Day ever!"

Rose suddenly noticed the twinkle in his eyes, and she knew what she had to say next.

"To PMS!"


End file.
